EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE

BEWARE OF NEGATIVE EMOTIONS:
Each of us has been given the gift of life fuelled by the life-force or “Prana”. Like food, air or blood, our invisible energy system consisting of emotions flows through our bodies, is processed and transformed before leaving us. The manner in which it does this tells us how energetic we are. You sometimes feel low, drained; energy-less. You might feel so after a stressful period – because of trying circumstances, a spell of hectic work or sudden trauma. Why does this precious source of life-force (Prana or energy) dwindle, sometimes to desperately low levels?
Take a look at major energy-guzzlers –
I. WORRY: We worry about things that we are convinced are doomed to happen – that those who are ill will not recover– others who aren’t, will fall ill – bad times will remain bad – good ones will take a turn for the worse – children who are admitted in school or college might not do justice to the opportunity given to them, etc. In fact, as a worrier can tell you with conviction, nothing in life is certain, so there is much to worry about. Thus there is always ample fuel for worry. And this is a greedy unsatisfied fire, always ready to devour more. It is a vicious story of burnout.
What does this mean in energy terms? Consider this: Energy follows thought; so as you continue to feel that fire – as you think negative thoughts about all the things that may not turnout as well as you wish, you are actually giving energy to those very occurrences that you wish to avoid. As you continue to obsessively think about them and imagine the consequences, energy continues to flow to them. You often feel them manifesting, little realizing your role in their creation. Soon you feel drained, unhappy and low in energy.
II. RESENTMENT: If worry drains you with fear of the future, then hurt, resentment and regret keep you chained to the “past”. As you nourish memories of people who have hurt you or let you down, of the circumstances that have betrayed your expectations, or of the unfulfilled dreams, you are only draining energy to something that is in fact dead and gone. By dwelling in the past that is dead, you un-necessarily feel life to be unfair and joyless; a burden rather than a gift.
III. GUILT: We all make mistakes, feel regret or remorse over situations in our lives and commit acts of omission or commission. But, we cannot let go. We believe it would be irresponsible to forgive. So we continue to internally condemn and scold, instead of learning from the fall and getting up to move on. It is much like climbing a mountain with a heavy trunk tied on our back. How you can really look around and enjoy the view?
Physically, where we hide our feelings? According to emotional technique practitioners in Reiki, we repress them within – in various parts of our body. Anger hides in our liver, ruining our digestion and creating acidity. Hurt and resentment cause constipation. Financial insecurity might cause us discomfort in our back. Although these might seem like generalizations, they are emotional components of our Physical aches and pains.
Thus, if we are feeling worried, distressed, upset, angry, irritated, resentful or guilty, we can safely assume that energy is leaving our body, because these are emotions which make us weak and we could be pushed into being losers and unable to cope with requirements of success. Therefore, to achieve success, we must eradicate this weakness that can be done through healthy development of Emotional Intelligence (Emotional Quotient).
A few tried and tested tips leading to a bit more of Emotional Intelligence:
I. Maintain an emotional record. For a week, daily jot down your feelings at regular intervals. From this record, try to locate emotional patterns and reasons for having reacted the way you did.
II. Try to focus on the feeling and not the event. Be honest with yourself about whether you’re over-reacting. Focus on the negative feelings and try to make it better.
III. You may or may not be able to affect what happens, but you can always affect the way you frame it on your mind. This will affect how you feel about it. Think about how you think about things.
IV. Try to be a good listener even if you don’t like what you are hearing. Try stepping into someone else’s shoes, especially if you are feeling negative towards them. Think up two reasons to support their view. This makes it easier to strike a balance.
V. Anger destroys. When you lose your temper, you lose control of your actions. Learn to be in control. You must calm down by concentrating on breathing deeply and slowly. Relaxing your body has a relaxing effect on the mind. Don’t tackle the problem that made you angry until you are calm.
VI. We all have good and bad feelings. The bad ones usually overpower the good. Change this using mental imagery by allocating good feelings to positive images – making them appear big, well defined and brightly coloured; and bad feelings to negative images – making them appear tiny, blurred and grayish-black.
VII. Refine your repertoire of ‘feelings’ and ‘feeling-words’ so you can expand your consciousness about your EQ.
VIII. During decision-making, let your feelings play a role. Imagine you have already made the decision. What does it feel like? Now imagine another decision. What does that feel like?
IX. Inquire after another’s feelings before proceeding to decision making.
X. Remember that “feeling good” about something doesn’t mean that the decision is correct.
XI. Be willing to acknowledge if you are afraid, angry or confused.
These are normal fears in a normal person. Escaping from your feelings denies you significant powerful and necessary information.
DON’T WORRY: Worry is a habit that we develop ourselves due to fear and uneasiness or disturbance. Outside circumstances don’t have any connection with it. Worry does not solve any problem.
One has to change one’s life-style to get saved from worries. To get rid of worries you may take the following steps.
I. Never sit idle, as an idle brain is likely to make a mountain of a molehill.
II. Think of today only. Don’t put up today’s problems tomorrow. Live in today only by making it the most beautiful day.
III. Take it easy, when any thing goes wrong; because everything can’t pass
on as per your own liking.
IV. Cultivate the habit of remaining happy or humorous. Socialize with people. It will promote sociability and remove aloofness.
V. Do away with petty matters and unnecessary apprehensions in your mind.
VI. Do away with procrastination, otherwise accumulation of work will cause burden on your mind.
VII. Have faith in your inner spiritual strength that often stands by you at the
moment of crisis.
VIII. When you do the works that should not be done you are gripped by worry and fear.
IX. To find out the cause behind your worry, analyze your mental situation,
the changes occurring in your emotions, views and actions. It will alert you to bring necessary changes in yourself.
X. Find solution to your serious problems to remove worry.